Super Mario 64

    Super Mario 64 was heralded as the N64's "killer app". It go critical acclaim for it's groundbreaking graphics, and it's excellent game design. Well, I wasn't a game reviewer back then, or else Super Mario 64 wouldn't of gotten all the attention it did.
    The very first time I put Mario 64 into my N64, I was surprised. The graphics were like nothing I had ever seen before. I just ran around looking at things. Eventually, I went into the castle and set about actually playing THROUGH the game instead of just admiring it. I entered the first level, and starting beating baddies and collecting coins and stars, and I realize: they didn't really do this all that well. The enemies are frickin' idiots. The objectives are just stupid. A closer look at the graphics revealed far too much clipping and polygon tearing than is acceptable. I get to the boss and whip his ass on the first try. This game can only go downhill from here.....
    I enter other levels to find many of the same things. Of course, other levels include such annoyances as ice, wind, or being forced to change size. Sure, they are revolutionary ideas, and were executed well, but I just didn't like it.
    And then there are the many encounters with Bowser. Why are these so easy??? I want a difficult boss, not some polygonal idiot who is easier than most of the level bosses. Bowser was very disappointing in this game.
    Enough of the level bashing, how about some character and gameplay bashing?? Mario is a cool customer (he could stand to lose some weight), but where the hell is Luigi? I love Luigi! Why don't they make a Luigi game for Dolphin? Oh well. Not only is Luigi missing, but the characters they stuck in are all losers who you do not want to help, but are forced to. I hate penguin mothers who can't keep their damn rotten kids in line. I personally don't like to race big ass characters down slides, and when you try to pass them, you get hurt. I also hate hat stealing monkeys. The characters are so easy to hate in this game.
    As far as control goes, it is quite good. Very responsive, well designed, but with a crappy camera. The camera gets you killed a lot. Jumping from platform to platform while the wind is trying to blow you off is considerably harder when the camera is out of wack.
    Graphics: The graphics are only decent. While they were good for a first effort on a brand new system, they still had a lot of polygon tearing and clipping. The environments are very bland with the same boring texture maps used EVERYWHERE!
    Sound: The sound is ok. There is a bit of voice from Peach, and a wicked laugh from Bowser, as well as the little grunts and moans Mario makes when he jumps or does anything. The music is nothing special, just typical Mario tunes. Of course, Mario music has always sounded cool, but it doesn't really fit into a 3-D game.
    Overall, I'd have to say I really didn't like Mario 64 (can you tell?). I love 3-D adventure games (Banjo, JFG, Zelda), but I didn't like Mario. I'm not comparing it to these newer titles, I am just weighing my expectations, and the hype, versus my opinions. And my opinion of the game is that it sucks ass! I know that many, if not all of you, feel differently, but I just can't lie. Mario 64 is almost a rental, until you see WaveRace or PilotWings sitting next to it (had to use some games of the time to give you the idea).